Dear Librarian I

Dear Librarian,

I am wondering if you have
any books about flying saucers,
what people call UFOs.
I think I may have seen one,
though I live by an airport.

I also want to know if you have any books
about ghosts – or what I think they call
physical phenomena. I don’t know how
to pronounce it.
I’ve heard voices coming from the bushes
behind my house. They might be ghosts,
or they might be squirrels, or they are
kids coming home too early from St. Symphorosa.
Do squirrels have ghosts? I want to know.

I also would like books
with dinosaurs on the cover. It’s okay
if they also have spacemen on the cover too
but I’d prefer they don’t have cavemen
as I don’t believe in them.

If you have some books
by a guy named Marcel Proust
I would like to read them.
Someone said he writes about time
and I am interested in time
ever since I read the bookwith all the Morlocks in it
which I got from the library.

Thank you for time.

Sincerely,
Tommy

Dear Librarian II

Dear Librarian,

As I am older now, I want to know
if you have any books on antigravity.
It’s not that I don’t like gravity,
but it doesn’t take me where
I want to go.

Unless you have a book
about the earth being hollow
with people in it. I saw a book about this
at the drugstore.
The lady at the counter yelled at me
when I picked it up.
“Do you intend to buy that?” she yelled.
So I picked up the magazine I wanted to buy,
called The Horror of Party Beach.
The lady at the counter got angrier
and said I shouldn’t buy magazines
with pictures of girls in swimming suits
even if they were only being killed by monsters.

I am also interested
if you have any books about astro-projection
as I think I once astro-projected myself
from Mason Street to Menard Street, though it’s
only two blocks. If there’s a book there
in the library that shows you how to astro-project
to Mars, I want to read it.
I might also need a book about death rays,
though I don’t want to kill anyone.

I think it is possible dinosaurs moved to Mars
and I would like to see if they did.
I don’t know why
but a death ray would be handy.

Sincerely,
Your friend,
Tommy

Dear Librarian III

Dear Librarian,

I am old enough that girls
Don’t look so bad to me
even when they’re not being eaten by monsters
I need a book that can explain that.

I asked my dad about girls
And he said, “Oh, you know, you know.”
But I don’t.
I asked my mom
and she said it’s none of my business
and I’m only asking for trouble.
Maybe I’m asking for trouble
but I think I’m asking for a book.

It’s like when I asked my dad
about Mars and dinosaurs
and how maybe when people see ghosts
they are seeing people who travel through time
from the past. And I asked my dad if,
when ghosts from the past see us they know
we’re from the future.
My dad said, “Ask your priest.”
I said, “Which priest is mine?”
And he said, “Oh, you know, you know.”
But I don’t know.
My dad is very unfair to priests
to make them answer my questions.

I am better off with books because
I am happy when I read them.
I don’t know if I will be happy with girls,
so I hope you have a book that explains them.
There is a girl in Mrs. O’Brien’s class
who makes me hurt when I see her.
Not like kicking me, though she did kick me once.
But I mean like a hurting in my chest,
like it would hurt if you told me
I will never know about Mars and dinosaurs.
That’s a very bad hurt
but they won’t let me stay home for it.

Please help.

Your friend,
Tommy

Richard Chwedyk is a Nebula Award-winning writer of short fiction and poetry. He teaches the Science Fiction Writing Workshop at Columbia College Chicago. Most recently, his novella “Orfy” appeared in the Sept./Oct. 2010 issue of Fantasy and Science Fiction and his poem “Rooms Must Explain Themselves” was included in “80! Memories & Reflections on Ursula K. Le Guin” (Aqueduct Press, 2010). He’s a lifelong Chicagoan, Columbia and NU grad and is married to poet Pamela Miller.

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