By Cameron MacKenzie
Scenarios
When I was in seventh grade or thereabouts I had a suicide scenario, the particulars of it representative of the age and time. My plan was, or so I would tell friends after school by the bike path, to strap a large speaker to my chest connected to a Walkman in my pocket and jump out of a plane. On the way down as I tore through the clouds, I’d play “Fade to Black” from Metallica’s Ride the Lightning album.
My plan generally earned appreciative nods from all around and would kick off interesting debates, such as whether “Fade to Black,” with its subdued opening and almost seven-minute run time, was really the best song to play when jumping out of a plane to one’s death. Point taken. We decided I’d have to start the song about three minutes and fifteen seconds in to really reach maximum intensity before impact.
The other principal objection concerned the impact itself. Wouldn’t it be better, my friend Jerry suggested, to shoot yourself in the head before you hit the ground? While some argued that the pain associated with either situation would be negligible, we did find some aesthetic appeal in holding a revolver for this final wingless flight into the unknown. Whether I would’ve gotten the pistol to my head in time, or whether I would’ve even chosen to use it after everything else, remains an unanswered question.
And then there was the possibility, put forward by always conscientious Scott, aspiring physicist Scott, that I might not be able to properly hear Metallica at that altitude and speed, what with the wind in my ears and the behavior of soundwaves.
Jerry objected. “The song’s not for him,” he said. “It’s for the people on the ground.”
I hadn’t considered this but immediately adopted it, nodding sagely, and smiling at those in the circle who’d gathered around to listen.
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Cameron MacKenzie’s writing has appeared in Salmagundi, The Michigan Quarterly Review, The Rumpus, and CutBank, among other places. His novel, The Beginning of His Excellent and Eventful Career, was called “poignant, brutal, and beautiful” by Kirkus Reviews, and “visionary” by Rain Taxi. River Weather is his first collection of short stories. He lives in Roanoke, Virginia.