Hypertext Magazine asked Christine Eberle, author of FINDING GOD IN ORDINARY TIME, “Your stories are from real life; which one are you most anxious about having ‘out there?'”
Oh, that’s easy: it’s the chapter called “Finding God in Irreverence.”
When I was a young hospital chaplain, I encountered a new mother with a really tragic cancer diagnosis. She was initially reluctant to talk to me, because the last chaplain to approach her had totally botched it. The chaplain said—and I shudder even to repeat this—“Just remember that what you are going through is as nothing compared to what Jesus suffered on the cross.”
That sort of religious nonsense is the kind of thing that pushes people straight out the church door. It’s right up there with looking a bereaved parent in the eye and saying, “God must have needed another angel.”
My next words to this patient would be critical. Recognizing the chasm the other chaplain had created, I took a risk and threw out the only rope bridge at my disposal: humor. I deadpanned, “Did you tell that other chaplain that Jesus was only on the cross for three hours, and he didn’t have kids?” It worked. She busted out laughing, and then we had a wonderful, faith-filled conversation.
But you just know there are people out there who are going to set my book on fire when they read that line.
And you know what? Even though it came from a deeply reverent place, the line makes me cringe a little bit, too. Crucifixion was a horrifying form of Roman execution; given the choice of torturous exits, I’d ask for the chemo in a heartbeat. And as a professional religious person, I have no desire to mock or minimize the suffering of Jesus.
But here’s the thing: that mother’s suffering should not have been minimized either, which is exactly what my colleague had done in her failed attempt at consolation. Chaplains should be able to stand with people in their pain or we should get out of the room, period. By cracking that joke—irreverent as it was—I demonstrated my understanding of the specificity of her misery: the agonizing months of fruitless cancer treatment; the anticipatory heartbreak of dying before her son’s first birthday. And my understanding was a genuine consolation.
I often say that my book is ideal for people skeptical or weary of religion. Yes, this chapter is making me anxious. But if a touch of irreverence helps me connect with someone hungry for spiritual nourishment but with no taste for pious platitudes, I can tolerate a little ‘what will people think!’
Christine Eberle is a passionate explorer of the connections between Scripture, spirituality, and everyday life. Her 25-year career as a college campus minister has given her countless opportunities to ask her favorite question (Where is God in all this?) and to listen for answers in surprising places. Christine is gifted public speaker, retreat leader, and church cantor. In person and on the page, she invites us to encounter a God who has infinite compassion for people in pain, but little time for pious platitudes. She currently serves as the Director of Campus Ministry at Gwynedd Mercy University near Philadelphia, PA. Her book Finding God in Ordinary Time will be published on September 17th. You can follow her at christine-marie-eberle.com.