Mary Beth Hoerner
Germany’s 1930s-version of eharmony.com is responsible for bringing together Joseph Ratzinger and Maria Peintner, who, after an inauspicious first date of pilsner and onion rings, would go on to produce the holiest man alive.
In an email interview conducted with Hypertext, the Pontiff opined, “One would like to think one’s parents found each other magically, with the romantic assistance of the chubby naked baby with the arrow. You know, in love from the first glance across a busy train station? My parents hid their beginnings from me, concocting a fanciful tale of their early days, claiming to have bumped into each other literally while in a conga line at a Third Reich after hours.”
The Pontiff said he supports dating, regardless of how it comes about, and that it is “only what comes later” that makes him vomit.
Amen, brotha.
About the author…
Mary Beth Hoerner is a Chicago playwright and fiction writer. Her play Atomic Honeymoon was performed at the Cornservatory in Chicago, she is a network playwright at Chicago Dramatists, and, she was the recipient of a Ragdale residency in playwriting. Her short fiction has appeared in various publications, and her memoir Night Games appears in the anthology Cubbie Blues: 100 Years of Waiting Till Next Year.
Photo courtesy David Rice